


weekly revue

by WhimsicalSparky



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Banshee Hatsune Miku, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, GakuLuka, Incubus Kagamine Len, KaiMei - Freeform, Lenku, Mild Sexual Content, Negibanana, Randomness, Sexual Humor, Succubi & Incubi, Swearing, Weirdness, len's very awkward and it's hilarious, mild violence & gore Played For Laughs, my god how do you tag stuff anyways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 16:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14937953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsicalSparky/pseuds/WhimsicalSparky
Summary: Being part of a weird group of weird people and crushing on a girl who probably doesn't know his name while having crazy needs just invalidate any possibility of having a normal life. — lenku. / loosely inspired on 'Lunchtime Wallflowers' by Huinari in ffnet.





	weekly revue

**Author's Note:**

> meh im late as shit to post this in ao3 (does the vocaloid fandom even exists in ao3???) but nobody cares to what i post, so yeah. have a word vomit. again, i aimed to 2k word count but - as usual - i got Carried Away by my own stupidness. WOO HOO HOW FUN~
> 
> (plsdontnoticemypooreffortinwritinghumor)

 

Len is weird. Period.

No, he doesn't deny that fact. He's very aware that he doesn't fit into any standards established by egocentric popular kids that got nothing to do but spit at the other people's faces because they're different. And hell will freeze over if Len will ever reduce himself to these unfair rules. His brain is something to be studied by scientists.

He's a sixteen winters old incubus, he can't flirt to save his life, his penis size is mocked by his fellow classmates, and he's pretty much a blue loser - which means he doesn't have a 'regular feeding source' and is one of the few who sustain himself through solid food.

With such life and such personality, of course he attracted weird people to himself and these weird people eventually became his friends. He would probably be seen as a dangerous psychopath if he didn't have them, so it's okay.

Most of time.

Having weird friends has some... disadvantages. Like how fast they can empty a crowded hallway with a boisterous laugh or a dirty inside joke Len has no idea where they got it. Or the incredulous stares Len gets for being around them as one screams about a book series they find horrible. Or the rumors about them being terrorists secretly planning world dominance.

Len feels the disadvantages when his entire being takes interest on Miku Hatsune - two years older, choir class' unofficial diva, sensation at visual arts class, a utter failure at maths and PE - around eighth grade. Now in tenth grade, he's half-determined to get the teal-haired banshee to be his mate (if he's lucky, also his feeding source).

But since when Fate plays for the loser's side?

.

.

_weekly revue_

{ Being part of a weird group of weird people and crushing on a girl who probably doesn't know his name while having crazy needs just invalidate any possibility of having a normal life }

.

.

Mondays are the quietest.

That's because everyone is sulking for dragging their butts to high school again, they don't get in weird mode too soon. Monday's lunchtime starts with normal topics being discussed here and there - maybe Flower asking to copy someone's notes because she forgot to do homework again, or Oliver commenting about this new candy shop and its delicious human intestines-flavored cupcakes.

The cafeteria is divided between the indoors cafeteria and outdoors cafeteria, the latter being their place; vast and somewhat crowded, sunlight peeking shyly through the school building, and flower and herb beds cultivated by the gardening class' students where homeless nymphs often stay within the colorful petals. Satyrs and angels can be seen weaving melodies out of habit, with whatever they put their hands on.

As the world is unfair and you can't sit anywhere, the 'Weird Table For The Weird Guys' is where they sit for being so far the weirdest friendship circle at Mherdia High School; it's a circular stone table on the farthest part of the cafeteria, its green paint bleaching, shaking like it's about to crumble into dust with the slightest abrupt movement, and its seats aren't long enough, are as hard as the ground itself, and sometimes they bump knees and thighs while getting themselves comfortable.

"This isn't enough." Kaito clicks his tongue. His tone is like he hasn't had enough food in his life, enough food to satisfy, even though the pancakes pile up into a medium-sized tower. If Gakupo hasn't stepped in to stop him, his pancake tower would be wobbling more than their table.

"If that's what you think, I wouldn't want you as a sibling. He annoys me enough." Gumo groans as he points at his conjoined twin Gumiya who's too entranced with his given sandwiches, carrot cake, assorted fruits and chocolate milk to care about his brother insulting him. Gumo snaps his fingers in front of Gumiya's face, but it's useless.

Flower, snorting, slaps Gumiya on his head. "Just keep him from eating my food." She establishes the rule, and pops a cherry from her ice cream cake into her mouth. She does it slowly, sensually, as if intended to tease Kaito (for being able to get the last slice) and Len (because he's an incubus).

Len stabs his banana pudding furiously, growing enraged at his urges. Flower does it again with another cherry, and he growls, "Damnit, Flower! I'm trying to eat peacefully here."

"Hm, really?"

"Yeah, really!"

Rei chooses the perfect timing to slump between Kyo and Piko, horse ears and tail whipping the air, and announce loudly, "Guys, I have great news! Amazing news! News that will blow your minds with its greatness!"

"We get that it's great and everything, Rei." Ritsu rolls his eyes, adjusting his hat and veil. "Just tell us the news, failed prototype of a púca."

Rei's expression shifts to a very serious one like he will reveal a secret from the government - his brows furrow, eyelids lower, and he clasps his hands together in front of his face, elbows on the tray almost spilling his soup. He makes a dramatic pause, and starts whispering, "I have..."

Right now everyone - except Kyo, for he's too focused on his book about cosmetology - is leaning their heads closer to Rei.

Even Len, though he has a gut feeling that this will be disappointing. Since when Rei says relevant things?

Then Rei explodes, "...found out the best, cooler way to die, you guys! It'll be awesome!"

Groans in voices of different timbres and tones and expressions resonate. Of course.

"Rei, we don't care." Ritsu deadpans, and bites a good chunk from an apple.

"No, no, no, no- Listen to me! It's awesome and we'll all do it when we're old and grumpy because our mates died or turned into Underworld spawns."

"What kind of death would be soooooo awesome?" Piko licks off the syrup from his forkful of pancake.

"Skydiving!" Rei shoots his hands up, knocking the hot soup all over Piko's crotch, unfortunately. The white-haired imp screeches in pain and runs around the table while fanning his lower regions.

Taking the opportunity to mess with Flower, Ritsu takes her ice cream cake and presses onto Piko's burning parts with great pleasure. Len isn't sure about the details, but something involving Yohio, a black box and broken mirrors during their rock music club has established a grudge-slash-rivalry between Ritsu and Flower. Now, the crossdressing vampire does anything to irritate the androgynous ghoul.

Miku happens to pop in with Luka - Gakupo's mate, and a dazzling dryad with flowing cherry pink hair - and stares at the scene as if she's watching some sitcom episode about an absurd after-party situation: Piko moaning in relief and using the cake as ice pack, Kaito and Rei cackling as choking cacodaemons, Gumo angrily shoving a hot dog down his twin's throat, Gakupo facepalming as Flower beats Ritsu up mercilessly, and Len just sitting there next to a completely oblivious Kyo.

Luka is used to the madness, so she goes to her mate and whispers something to the tengu, who reacts rather nicely though his exasperation is evident. Miku's eyes drift across the different situations until they stop at Len. He tries hiding his face behind his untouched pudding.

Once she finally walks away alongside Luka, Len drops the awkward attempt at hiding himself like an embarrassed turtle. He claws at Gakupo's sleeve, moaning pathetically, "Spray holy water on my eyes, please."

"At least she has a notion of what to find here." Piko chirps up, very aware of Len's crush on Miku and sounding positive about the entire situation.

It strikes a nerve, and Len stomps on Piko's crotch.

.

.

Tuesdays are the deadliest.

That's because Piko has baseball practice and Flower is in her 'I Don't Give A Shit' mood after history class with Mrs. Cul. Hence why Flower tosses her boots at Ritsu, though they land on Kyo's lap instead, because she claims her feet had enough and then proceeds to start complaining about Mrs. Cul and how horrible she is. Thankfully Len never sits next to her, but he has to hear Gakupo loudly complain about the pungent smell of rotting corpse coming from her feet. She shrugs him off, devouring a scone casually.

Then she notices Gumiya staring hungrily at her scones and kicks him on the ankle. She sneers, "Back off, dimwit. Get your own scones."

Gumiya whimpers and that's it.

At that moment, Piko slams his baseball bat on the table, breaking it in half, and throws his cap to the sky (they later find out that it landed on Lapis; the fairy was not pleased). He's sweating and angry, heterochromatic eyes smeared with black, and Len muses that he picked the wrong day to sit near Piko's usual seat.

"Shit!" Piko curses and throws the broken bat away. It flies between Gumo and Gumiya's heads and blasts into pieces against a tree by the impact; a tree nymph jumps out and flees, bawling. He slumps down on his seat, his left hand stealing a handful of biscuits from Ritsu.

Everyone hesitates to ask him what's wrong. Though Piko is usually a happy-go-lucky imp with mechanical parts due to a traumatic accident that he refuses to elaborate, his mood shifts a lot and it renders him unpredictable. Especially when he's angry. Now that he is in the baseball team, he has access to bats, including metal bats, and his rebuilt muscle with nanoparticle technology also made him crazy strong.

And nobody wants to have their cranium crushed by Piko. Not after what he did to Rook.

As Kyo is oblivious, he looks up from his book - this time, it's about human history - and comments, "You look angry, Piko. Did Kurotane flirt with Miki again?"

Len gasps. He just didn't mention Piko's cousin and Miki, right?

Right?!

Piko snaps his head at Kyo, narrowing his eyes. "The fuck did you say?" he speaks in a menacing tone. Gakupo's hand shoots up to grab Piko's shoulder, but he gives up a heartbeat later. Len mouths 'run, you idiot' to Kyo in a desperate attempt to alert him.

Obviously he doesn't understand.

Piko slowly stands up, slowly approaches the brunette, basically everything happens in slow motion and silence; the only sound is Gumo anxiously biting his nails. Len's breath hitches. He knows he's clutching the edges of his jacket, but he's not caring if he will tear holes into it right now.

Kyo is still innocent as ever as Piko's enraged face gets closer and closer...

...and he suddenly pulls him into a tight hug and sobs loudly in the brunette golem's shoulder.

Len's jaw is probably on his feet now. Talk about anticlimactic.

"He did! He fucking did!" Piko screeches. "And Miki smiled to that bastard! Damnit, Kyo, what does he have that I don't?!"

It's apparently too hilarious for Kaito; he bursts out laughing a second later, and it gets Rei to laugh along.

Miku comes up and taps on Gakupo's shoulder, starting to ask him about their visual arts project, when Piko shakes Kyo around and cries out, "I still have my manhood, Kyo! I can give her rounds and rounds of hot sex! Why did she choose my cousin? I want Miki to have my babies!"

Miku's mouth opens, then closes. Her beautiful cadmium green eyes are so wide with shock, Len is scared that they will pop out of their sockets. She taps Gakupo a few more times, and politely excuses herself before dashing away from Piko bemoaning about his cousin and Kyo comforting him with things like, "She wouldn't go out with Kurotane. She obviously likes you, Piko."

In meanwhile, Gumiya snatches some scones from Flower's plate and frantically eats them up. Flower realizes that and promptly kicks him on the face once. She goes for a second time, but Gumiya ducks and her foot lands on Gumo's face instead.

.

.

Wednesdays are the loudest.

Partly because Gakupo has shared French class with Luka, hence his happier mood and slipping manners when they're usually impeccable, but mostly because Gumo and Kyo exchange insults in loud, angry voices and in some foreign language that's definitely an ancient one. It's one of the fewest occasions where Kyo isn't devouring books faster than a bookworm. And it's freaky because he is a grammar Nazi - nobody can say something wrong in whatever language or Kyo will correct them.

He probably knows fifty different languages and has some trauma involving wrong grammar and pronunciation - that's just Len's theory.

Just to add to his suffering, Len forgot his noise-cancelling headphones at home, so he's stuck with a cherub and a golem shouting things dangerously near his ears. Their voices resonate and bounce inside his head, like bouncy balls hitting his brain at lightning speed and weighting as anvils falling over and over and over again upon him. He seriously is tempted to grab Oliver's éclairs and shove them inside his ears.

Flower is the first to lose it; she slams her fists on the table, almost toppling the trays and plates and the table altogether, and yells in the top of her lungs, "SHUT UP ALREADY OR I'LL MAKE YOU SWALLOW MY BOOTS, DAMN YOU BOTH!"

"Shut up, Flower!" Gumo shouts back defiantly. It ensures him a kick on the leg from Flower and a laugh from Gumiya.

Len taps the pen on his notebook rhythmically to the cicada's song echoing inside his head, ideas buffering in a painfully slow pace. Mr. Ueki's classes are mind-numbing and boring beyond belief, like some shelf brimming with thick books and healthy food and essays about the importance of exercise where teenagers dig into with undeniable want for junk food and magazines and procrastination.

History homework is corrosive to his creativity; usually he has a decent articulation with words and quick thinking, hence his good grade in Mrs. Miriam's Literature class, but Mr. Ueki drops regularly questions requiring personal opinions or a deeper interpretation about some description of a war's consequences to citizens. It is still better than maths, though.

It gets quieter after that. Kyo flips the pages of a book from some philosopher, muttering and grumbling about metaphysics and ontological stuff which don't make sense to Len because it quickly evolves into questioning one's existence and what does it mean to exist and what makes one exist because-

Well, whatever. This kind of thing makes Len's head hurt.

He hasn't talked about Miku to Rin much, mostly because it's his problem and speaking about his crush to his sister, who is most likely his crush's best friend, is weird in his opinion. But after Rin found out his intentions (and promptly smacked him for falling for her friend), now she can't stop prying into his life and trying to play matchmaker with them. Which is even weirder.

She texts him constantly -  _bro, let's go to the eleventh graders' music performance! miku's gonna play, we must go. as in, NOW. len, miku's gonna play a sax! she will, im SUPER CEREAL! len, y ur ignoring me? i KNOW ur there! u can't hide forever, len! reply me, damnit! len! leeeeeeeeeeeen_ \- and he's not sure what Rin wants from him, or what will she get if he and Miku start dating. He has a gut feeling that she has a bet with some girl or Rei. Probably Rei. But his phone is turning into a distraction, with all these messages making it ring every ten seconds.

He's about to answer her texts with a polite refusal to her offer, but Rei makes his existence evident by screaming something in what Len supposes to be Russian, though it sounds more like sheer gibberish, like that Finnish song Rin tried to sing but the words came out incomprehensible. Then Ritsu appears and does the same, in a different language and equal horrible pronunciation.

It triggers Kyo's berserk button - he yells something to Rei and Ritsu in their respective languages, the only part understandable to Len being, "Oh my gods, go read a fucking book! You drive me insane with these childish, gods-forsaken mistakes!"

Len thinks again and decides to reply Rin differently -  _Okay, we're going. Just don't text me like you're my awfully clingy girlfriend or I'll throw myself out of the window, I swear._

Rin replies seconds later -  _damn bro, u finally replied! fine, i'll stop just cuz i imagined if we were dating and... ew. EW. not into incest, seriously! never gonna understand Teto and her liking for incest anime. but dude, we're gonna watch miku rock with that sax!_

Len glances up to Kyo about to slit Rei and Ritsu's throats and Gakupo distracted with his tamagoyaki and thoughts, and he sighs.

He texts back -  _If I survive lunchtime then sure._

.

.

Thursdays are the longest.

Maybe it's because it precedes Friday and all his friends are antsy for the weekend - just two days, they say, just two days left. Or maybe it's the sugar-filled Thursday menu in the cafeteria, what drives Oliver completely mad.

But today he has a meaning.

They cram into their seats because Kaito insists on letting his mate and her friends sit with them for a day, and Gakupo figures that it can't be so bad, even though there's barely place to sit down. But Len's opinion chart has a sudden drop from 'Whatever' to 'Fuck NO!' when he discovers Miku belongs to Meiko's friendship circle. She also happens to sit next to him, their thighs touching.

Their thighs. Are. Touching. They're touching. He's feeling her warm thigh on his. He is. He really is.

And it's torture, not heaven.

Because his every nerve is begging him to tear her clothes apart and just feed on her. Len can't focus on his lunch, even less on its taste when at this point he would be moaning in pleasure solely attainable through sweets. He's sweating a waterfall, shaking like an autumn leaf, and in the edge of fainting.

Or pouncing onto her Kaito-style.

She will shriek at him if he dares to.

Ritsu elbows Gumo and whispers in his ear, "Somebody's peeling a banana here!" and Gumo catches the inside joke and chuckles. Len hates how they regard him as a banana in these jokes born from Tumblr and long stories, so he kicks Gumo's ankle and then Ritsu's. Pressed between Gakupo and Kyo, Flower snickers as if understanding.

Len takes a deep breath and exhales, thinking positively - maybe everything will end okay and Miku won't stare at him like he's grown a second head. Maybe she will stare at him like he's grown a third horn, what in incubi and succubi culture it's a good sign. It means interest - not necessarily in a sexual way, but interest all the same.

Oh gosh, his horns! He doesn't remember cleaning them up this morning. He supposes that they're not bad, for he washed his hair and horns yesterday, but should he have polished them? How do they look like to an outsider's eyes? What does Miku think about them? He should've polished them. He had wanted to polish them this morning. Why hadn't he polished his horns?!

He hastily turns to Piko and whispers, "Do my horns look good, Piko?"

Piko tilts his head a few times, stares at Len's obsidian horns, makes him more anxious, and finally smiles and cheerfully whispers, "You're great. Great, you hear me? Don't worry about anything."

Len isn't so confident, but he smiles back.

Lunchtime goes peacefully for once (Len mentally thanks on his knees for that), all thanks to Meiko keeping the fools in line with her booming voice (again, he's thanking on his knees. In his mind, that is). She's scary, so he wonders why an oddball like Kaito would like to be around a hot-blooded harpy like her - or why Meiko would think in getting ten feet near Kaito. It makes no sense.

Kaito insists again that Meiko is nice when you know her enough. It's just the menacing aura that all fearsome harpies have to install horror within sinners. Len does smell Meiko's amusement beneath all embarrassment as Kaito offers his cheesecake. Oh well, they make a cute couple.

Len ponders for a moment if he should say something to Miku, ask about her dumplings or something. Ritsu, however, decides that being kicked wasn't enough; he snickers through telepathy, "Bet she would look hot in a sexy maid uniform, right, Lenny?"

Len's face flares red. He doesn't miss the opportunity to punch Ritsu right on the nose for fantasizing about his future mate and (possibly) wife. His pants feel too tight to pretend that he's alright, so he dashes away from the cafeteria in lightning speed.

He pays a visit to an empty restroom and his vivid imagination.

.

.

Fridays are the weirdest.

Which is the easiest to figure out why: it's a day away from Saturday and his friends go ballistic about it. Friday's lunchtimes are random and sometimes deadlier than Tuesday's. Sometimes it's just sheer insanity, like the time Ritsu lost it and ran across the hallways in his birthday suit after being mistaken for a girl again. It got recorded, went viral, and Ritsu refused leaving home for two months.

In this particular autumn Friday, with the sun hiding itself through silvery clouds, Len decides to reflect upon his reasons why he befriended such strange people. Compared to them, he is the most normal despite his quirks.

Really, he isn't lying. They voted on who was the most normal and Len got all of them. Even Gakupo agreed.

...Well, being around them isn't so bad. It's even fun, dangerous and awkward situations aside, to stick with them. To laugh with them at some absurd story made up by Flower in a 'I'm Totally Drunk' mood, or hear Gumo loudly wish for a flying saw to cut his and Gumiya's body in half as Rei declares that he would stitch them back together, just to be punched twice on the gut afterwards.

Besides, no group has accepted his weirdness so well like they did. Why abandon them? It would be betrayal, and Len knows how Kyo hates traitors.

Piko drops a package in front of Len, snapping him out of his trance. The imp beams like the sun god waking up in a Sunday morning to commemorate his birthday, which is... saying a lot. He says, voice more cheerful than usual, "Here's a little thank you gift for helping me with my dating issues."

Len sighs. Yes, Piko is now dating Miki. He'd begged Len to give him some tips, which was a bad idea considering the failure Len is at flirting, but he decided to help anyways. Judging by Miki's discomfort around Kurotane, Len told Piko to be patient and compliment her with an innocent tone rather than a seductive tone.

"Go slow." Len had said. "Carry her books, be friendly, comfort her when she's sad - but keep your intentions subtle. She must know you like her, that you're a good guy and way better than your cousin."

And it miraculously worked.

It hurts Len more because he helps his friends at getting mates, but he himself is alone. It is very sad. He's like their lucky charm without luck for himself. Is he the only one without a mate? His classmates are better not hear that out or they will mock him for the rest of his life.

Len glances at the package. Is this a little gift in Piko's definition? This is almost as big as his head. "C'mon, open it! Open it!" Piko jumps up and down like an enthusiastic schoolgirl about to get chocolate from her crush.

Len starts to unwrap it. Piko doesn't wait, and shoves him away and opens it himself, paper flying all around them like carnival confetti. Len squeaks, "Piko, can't you wait?! Did courting Miki drain up all your patience?"

"Yes! I'm completely patience-free!"

This guarantees an exasperated sigh.

The gift turns out to be a lot of random objects and papers. Len counts hair ribbons, a snow globe, strange necklaces, music sheets, and a small turquoise notebook with 'Miku's Likes and Dislikes' written in black marker and Piko's awful penmanship on the cover. It doesn't need brains to understand what all of this is.

Len shouts, "You stalked Miku?!"

"Who stalked Miku?"

Oliver is the first to question as he sits down on a seat next to Len, Rei following right behind him. The anthropophagus throws a non-human charlotte at Len, who promptly catches it. Between spoonfuls of chocolate, biscuit and some random organ to his mouth, he asks again, "Who stalked Miku, Len? Was it Gumo and Gumiya? I know they find Miku attractive and all, but I thought they would go after Rin."

"What?" Len roars.

Rei grins, pointed teeth gleaming as knives, the edges of his amber eyes sharp with mischief. "Maybe it's Gakupo. He naturally screams 'I like threesomes', y'know? The chemistry works."

"What?!"

A laugh easily escapes between Piko's lips. He pats Len's head between his horns, flaxen strands falling over cornflower blue. He stays ignorant to the incubus' simmering rage. "They're just messing with you, Len-Len." He jabs his right thumb at the gift. "Since you're a snail when it comes to Miku, we - as in, the guys and Meiko's ladies and Mikuo - made an extensive research for everything you need to know about Miku."

Len pushes his bangs back, trying to recover. The twins like his sister... he will have nightmares about it. "You know it's illegal."

"That's called love, Len!" Rei yells.

"That's called violating Miku's privacy!"

"That's called helping you!" Oliver continues.

"Who is helping who?" he hears Flower ask.

Because the world hates him, the rest of the group appears to continue the argument. Len is mortified; he can't believe that all his friends are conspiring against him when all he's done was giving out tips about dating.

This is outrageous! Stalking goes against his morals imposed by his father. What would Leon say if he saw his well-endowed son lowering himself to such level? Len shivers; he could feel the whip striking his back.

Flower is quick to catch the haze of anger hovering above Len, and is also quick to snatch the notebook from the box and flip the pages, making comments about Miku's favorite parasol, or Miku's allergies, or Miku's favorite TV shows and movies. Before she reveals Miku's kinks to the world (how did they discover that?!) Gakupo thankfully takes the notebook from her and tosses back at Len.

The tengu slides the plastic band off his ponytail, vibrant purple tendrils fluttering down his waist. He is in the process of redoing it, higher and tighter on the back of his head, when he scolds the others firmly, "You have stalked, acquired personal information and therefore violated the privacy of an innocent banshee, not to mention embarrassed a poor incubus whose interest lays on said banshee. Honestly, how scandalous!"

Rei puffs up his cheeks, narrows his eyes and bumps his fists on his hips, the very look a child would give if annoyed. "You collaborated as much as we did!"

"You what?" Len screeches.

"I only gave basic information, like her favorite food and allergies - she's told me once, okay? Don't glower at me. And anyways, I thought these idiots," he puts emphasis on the insult, "had some decency."

Flower shoulders into the conversation; by this, it means she literally elbows Gakupo on the ribs and sneers, "You thought wrong," before Len can growl something and this is enough to send Len's temper to the ceiling.

"But hey! All was done without significant damage." Piko tries to sound positive after a long period of silence. "These necklaces are just low-priced replicas. The ribbons were made by Haku - you know, the nymph from our chemistry class - in her spare time."

The haze raises, swirls above them all until it morphs into storm clouds. A spark shakes within them, crackling faintly.

Kyo blinks from his book - a fantasy novel? Now that's new - and wonders out loud, "But aren't the music sheets hers? I was pretty certain that Miku commented about her music project earlier."

The spark explodes into thunder and lightning strikes the ground violently.

"YOU STOLE MIKU'S MUSIC PROJECT?" Len bellows, his temper blasting through the roof and racing like a missile to the space. A small part of him is scolding him for his uncharacteristic display of wrath, but it's pushed to a dirty, forgotten corner of his mind, its voice muffled.

They squirm in unison. Piko scoots away, thighs bumping against Ritsu's. "Um, that was Gumo's idea-"

He never finishes his sentence; Len loses it, punches Gumo hard enough to knock him backwards with Gumiya (he mutters a half-hearted apology for Gumiya), grabs the sheets, throws the box at Rei and Ritsu, stomps on Gumo's stomach (another apology for Gumiya), and storms off the cafeteria.

Rage clouds his mind, blurs his sight and shrouds his judgment with the storm clouds from earlier, though students flash through his eyes with fear darkening their expressions - he assumes he must look like he's about to kill someone brutally and burn the corpse while laughing. The thought of doing that to Gumo rather pleases him, but that would mean killing Gumiya. The poor twin without personality has no fault in this when all he thinks about is eating, drinking and sleeping.

His sight is mostly clear by the time he finds Miku. She's on her knees digging into her locker, throwing books and notebooks and pencils in the air. A saxophone is next to her feet (the saxphone she used in her performance?), apparently intact from whatever she's done to it. Len rushes towards her before his anxiety beats him up like a ragdoll.

"Um. Hey, Miku!" he calls out, mentally facepalming afterwards. No wonder he's a joke amongst his kin.

She squeaks and stands up, just to hit the top of her head on the locker. Len freaks out, running to her as she rubs the spot frantically. He asks her over and over again if she's okay or if she needs to go to the infirmary and apologizes for indirectly causing this, because, goddamnit, he really loves her and being the cause of her pain kills him inside.

...Since when he became a hopeless romantic?

Miku takes her time to glance up timidly. Cadmium green flashes with confusion and then realization, as if her brain had scrambled through memory files to find his picture attached to his name. "Ah! You're Len Kagamine, right? The 'banana wannabe'?"

He cringes. This is undoubtedly another of Ritsu's insulting nicknames. "Uh, yeah. But call me Len please."

She nods. "Certainly."

Len's eyes wander across her slender figure, her nicely-shaped waist, from her small, musician hands to her ballerina feet. His gaze sets on her generous cleavage, which definitely isn't as notorious and traffic-stopping as Luka's and Meiko's, but they're not disappointingly small and washboard-like. He could picture himself burying his face into it and just-

"Hello? I know people say I'm pretty - though I don't agree with this statement - but staring is considered impolite. Unless in incubi culture it has another meaning..."

He blushes. "A-ah... I'm sorry. It's just... uh. Incubus senses. Yeah." He chuckles sheepishly, and hides his face in his hand to keep her from staring at his embarrassed face. Damn him and his overwhelming need to check her out and imagine lewd stuff. He needs a filter for his imagination.

Miku nods again, giving a comprehensive smile. "It's fine. You are a nice guy, so I don't take it as an offense."

The music sheets, a little voice in his head shouts. Len gasps - how could he forget about them? He brings them to his sight, swallowing thickly. They're somewhat crumpled from his tight grip. They could be worse, though.

He shows them to Miku and starts to apologize, "I found some music sheets I believe to be yours. I'm sorry that Gumo stole them. I didn't think-"

"Ahhhhh, my project!" she happily announces, interrupting his speech. The shock even shoves his body into defense mode instinctively. "Oh my gods, I thought they were lost forever! May the gods bless you, Len. You literally saved my skin!"

Len is more startled by a relieved, very happy Miku jumping onto him and hugging him like he's her lifeline. His nerves do thank the gods, for she's happy because of him and her chest is pressed against him. He notes that it's soft and that he wants to do this more times in the future.

Yes, he is a pervert.

"Oh." Miku breathes. She untangles herself from him, takes a few steps back and bows deeply. "I'm sorry about that - but I dreaded showing up at music class without my project and was even considering skipping it, but wow. Wow. I was not expecting you to find it. Thank you. How can I repay you?"

His mind comes up with a perverted response among the lines of, "Be my sex slave and love me only and forever, please," but Len doesn't say it. A mini Leon is on his shoulder slapping him for wanting to get into a girl's panties before getting into her heart. Instead, he settles with a, "You don't have to. I'm already happy to help you."

His newfound happy mood skyrockets when Miku beams. "Oh, okay. But if you ever need something," she picks up a notebook and a pen from the floor, writes something on a ripped piece of page, and gives it to him. Len gapes; it's her phone number, right?! Miku confirms it a second later, "you can give me a call, alright? Maybe I can play you my song. You like sax, don't you? It's alright if you don't, I play other instruments too."

"I would love to!" he blurts out a little too quickly. "I... Um. It would be a honor to... listen to your music."

She smiles and stares.

She stares at him like he'd grown a third horn.

"I must be going now, Len. My class will start soon, so yeah. Thank you very much."

She clumsily throws her things back inside her locker and locks it. She skips away in her state of euphoria, and Len just stands there.

Ten minutes later, Kaito finds him still as a statue in the middle of an empty hallway, with a dumb smile on his face and a piece of paper in hands. He takes a picture of Len, as he discovers later, with the following subtitle,

'LEN-LEN SAW A TEAL CROW GUYS'

Unnecessary to say that it rendered lots of comments.

.

.

Leon is glad to hear from his son that he got the phone number from the girl he'd been crushing on since eighth grade. In fact, he's so glad that he throws a party to commemorate Len's achievement, as though he just solved one of mankind's mysteries. It's surprisingly good.

The number registered in his phone stares back at him. Len considers various scenarios, a majority of bad reactions, a minority of pleasant expressions, and the impossibility of a really good start. He wonders if Miku saw the large, glowing sign of 'LOSER' pointing at him, felt pity of his flirting skills settling around the negative numbers, and gave him her phone number because she assumed that he never got a girl's number before.

Not that she wouldn't be right.

But she seemed genuinely nice. One thing he's good at is observing mannerisms and building up personalities based on them. He's not always correct, but his success is around 83% and 98%.

He hits the dial button, wondering if she has something important to do this Saturday because he really doesn't want to hang out with the guys this weekend when Ritsu and Flower are spitting fire at each other and Rei in 'Prankster' mode.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i will not show my face in ao3 till im old and grumpy BUT IM NOT ASHAMED AT THIS :)


End file.
